(Sunday Paper, Year VI, Issue 31)

I wrote a joke during the pandemic that I haven’t had the chance to perform on stage yet.

(When will I have that chance? I don’t know - I guess when I feel more comfortable in crowded spaces, which is certainly not yet.)

It goes a little something like this:

I had a hard time with football tryouts in high school.

I struggled through the first day, and at the end of tryouts the coach was like, “Some of you won’t be here tomorrow.”

And I thought with relief, “Oh, great, I didn’t realize that was an option!”

And I’ve been thinking about that a lot this week.

Every couple of years there’s an Olympics and I get swept up in the excitement of it all and I write something Olympics-related.

I haven’t been able to get into it very much this year.

I watched a little beach volleyball while I exercised early in the week, but that was about it.

Partly it’s because of the pandemic and my reservations about whether the Olympics should be happening at all, and partly it’s because of the time change, where I read something during the day and realize the event happened early that morning and figure it’s not worth watching anymore.

But I do try to follow the news of what’s coming out of Tokyo. And this week the big news was around Simone Biles deciding not to compete.

Her decision came a couple of days into the gymnastics competition. I’m sure you know the details by now. What I’m here to tell you is this:

Good for her.

I’m tired of reading all of the opinions on what she should have done differently or what she shouldn’t have done in the first place or how it’s wrong…I even hesitated writing about why I think it’s right.

None of our opinions matter if it’s what she thinks is the right thing to do.

But the big thing I wanted to address today, and I’m sorry if this isn’t the light fare you’re used to enjoying in the weekly Sunday Paper, is the culture surrounding these things.

I know the joke I’m working on and mentioned above isn't fully fleshed out. I need to add context - there were no cuts on that freshman football team. The coach was implying that some of the people in that room weren’t tough enough to deal with the strenuous tryouts and wouldn’t come back the next day.

I did not go back the next day, and I clearly still think about it.

Now, it’s probably healthier for me that I didn’t play football in high school. I was better suited at the time to write about the football team for the school paper.

And look at me now! Now I run lots of miles. So the laps around the track that I couldn’t quite handle in 9th grade…I eventually would be able to handle those.

What I’m trying to tell you is I’d be a great freshman football player at age 43.

No. Wait. That’s not the point.

The point is, whether it was implied or directly stated, back in 1992 or 1993 we were made to feel ‘less than’ in situations like this.

And that, for me, was low-scale high school football.

For others it was on a bigger scale…and for some it’s on the Olympic stage…or Grand Slam tennis.

Naomi Osaka is in the same boat - stepping down in front of everyone to do what’s best for you? That takes courage.

It shouldn’t be courageous, but it is because it’s not what many people are accustomed to seeing and less so are they accustomed to accepting it.

And, again, it shouldn’t matter what others are or aren’t willing to accept….but in some cases it matters.

We’re seeing some of the big-time gatekeepers get humbled a little bit. USA Gymnastics has no leg to stand on when it comes to Simone Biles’ decisions. They long ago missed their opportunity to be a positive force in the lives of young women.

What women like Biles and Osaka are doing can only help others in whatever struggles they’re dealing with. And I bring up the football example because coaches, and sports, can be the source of a lot of those struggles. But sports isn’t the sole issue.

Freshman football wasn’t the only time I felt like I failed those around me in some way. (By the way, this was all just the way I felt. I was supported at home and anywhere it counted…but sometimes none of that matters when you feel a certain way.)

I turned out more than okay in all of those cases. I like where I’m at.

But reading people’s reactions to Simone Biles (and Osaka last month) brought back a wave of feelings for me. I’m sure it did for many others - some of them might not be feeling as OK with where they’re at.

And listen: doing something that is hard isn’t a bad thing. I think that’s obvious. That’s not the point. We shouldn’t quit everything. Doing something that puts you out of your comfort zone shouldn’t be discouraged. But people have limits. And it’s up to them to decide what their own limits are. Not a coach yelling in their face. Not a society with strong opinions about what they expect just because things have always been done a certain way.

It’s not lost on me that gymnastics is all about the pursuit of the perfect score.

The lesson of the 2021 Olympics that I’ll take away is that sometimes it’s okay to be imperfect.

Notes

*I wrote this, perhaps obviously, in the immediate aftermath of Biles’ decision, when those who like to hear their own voices were having their (misinformed, likely ill-intentioned) say. I have since also read a lot of support for her decision, and that’s nice to see. I especially found Kurt Streeter’s take in the New York Times from Thursday to be reasonable and not unlike what I’ve written here.

*Running Update: Saturday’s long run was 14 miles. It was fine. Nothing remarkable, I finished it. That’s the important thing. I ran a relatively flat route, so that helped. Tried a new energy gel which I’ll work into my marathon run. It’s kind of funny how the scale changes. Next week’s run is 15 miles - 7.5 out and 7.5 back. 7.5 miles doesn’t sound nearly as intimidating as it used to.

*I always plug my Facebook page (Like it!) and Twitter (follow it!) but if you’re interested in my running exploits you can follow me on Strava. I do more ‘liking’ (kudos, really) on Strava than any other social media app, if I’m being honest. Just because sometimes runs can be hard.

*And if you haven’t already donated, you can give to the Framingham History Center at this link. I am running for Team Framingham, and the History Center is one of the charities for which Team Framingham is raising money. To put it differently, I have a charity bib through Team Framingham, and by donating you are helping me reach the fundraising goal that allows me to run in the Boston Marathon. You are helping me make a dream come true. Thank you for that.

*I’m realizing, as I put the bow on this post, that it boils down to kindness. Treating people with kindness through whatever circumstance they’re going through would go a long way to making the world better. I know I don’t always get that right myself but I do think about it and I do try. I will also continue to try harder.

*No, that last bullet has nothing to do with the fact that Kathy and I started watching ‘Ted Lasso’ on Saturday.